


Seeing Through The Walls You've Built

by Chaotic_Cate



Series: Varian Desperately Needs a Hug [5]
Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon), Tangled (2010)
Genre: Angry Varian (Disney), Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Varian (Disney), Hurt/Comfort, Incarcerated Varian (Disney), Sad Varian (Disney), Varian Angst (Disney), Varian Has Issues (Disney), Varian Needs a Hug (Disney), Villain Varian (Disney), injured Varian (Disney), not really a villain now though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:14:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27879670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaotic_Cate/pseuds/Chaotic_Cate
Summary: Varian, in the days following his arrest, feels like he is drowning. He is restless, yet exhausted, and blinded by rage that fizzles into despair with every passing hour.Cassandra pays him a visit as nothing more than a favour to Rapunzel who is forbidden to step foot in the dungeon. Cassandra sees Varian for what he is. A scared kid who has lost his way.
Relationships: Cassandra & Rapunzel (Disney: Tangled), Cassandra & Varian (Disney: Tangled), Rapunzel & Varian (Disney)
Series: Varian Desperately Needs a Hug [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1693492
Comments: 18
Kudos: 88





	Seeing Through The Walls You've Built

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Threw this together pretty quickly but I actually quite like it. I feel like this, and the previous entry in this series, are some of the most accurate representations of Varian's character during this time in the story that I have written. He is still super pissed- but VERY fragile. 
> 
> Also: I've mentioned a few time here and on Tumblr (which is chaotic-cate :p) that my mental health has been... lets just say, poor? And I just wanted to update anyone who saw that and saw that I am doing much better the last couple of weeks :)

Varian had been in this cell for almost three days now. He was restless. He had slept for a few hours on and off, which was not nearly enough. Varian paced the length of the cell day in day out, thoughts flying wildly. He couldn’t focus on any one thing- it was madness. They’d brought him food three times thus far and Varian barely touched it. His head pounded, and that could have been from any number of causes. He felt rage gripping him from the inside out. He felt deep, sorrowful dread. He felt exhausted, but he hated to be still; so, he paced. He paced because he feared that if he stopped, everything would catch up to him. 

Soon, Varian was visited by a limping Captain of the guard. 

Varian grimaced, knowing the man must have been injured by his hand, even if not directly. The Captain was not cruel to him, as some of the other guards had been. He’d been spat at, laughed at, and mocked. The only thing Varian liked about the bar between them Varian, was that even though they kept him  _ in, _ they also kept those lowly prison guards  _ out _ . 

Pacing and lost in his rapid fire thoughts, Varian didn’t notice the man approaching until he was very near. When he did finally notice, Varian jumped a little bit, and rushed to sit on the edge of the cot. He looked in the opposite direction, bouncing his leg and fidgeting his fingers from both restlessness and anxiety. 

The footsteps stopped right outside, and the air between them was stagnant for a few moments. Varian breathed heavily and reached to grip the rough fabric of the blanket on his cot in an attempt to steady his hands. He feared what the Captain’s presence could mean, though he wouldn’t admit that fear to himself- and certainly not to the Captain.

The Captain cleared his throat. “Varian.” he addressed firmly. 

Varian sent a glare over his shoulder, just long enough for the Captain to read his expression, and then faced the wall again. Varian bit his lip, and pushed away the guilt that attempted to sneak up on him. He said nothing.

The Captain exhaled. “I came to talk to you about your hearing.” he said. 

Varian lifted his head a little bit now, intrigued. 

The Captain continued. “There is a lot of clean up that needs to be done before we can start that, plus, most people just need more time. The date is set for two weeks from today.” He explained.

Varian scoffed audibly.  _ Of course _ he was the last priority.

Varian’s hands trembled. Something that happened whenever he let his emotions take over. The Captain seemed to be waiting for him to say something, but Varian did not. 

Unsatisfied, the man continued. “You have to decide how you want to plead. If you plead innocent, you’ll go to trial. If you plead guilty, we skip to sentencing. You have multiple charges and you’ll have to make a plea for each.” The Captain took a rolled up piece of parchment from an inner pocket on his coat and held it through the bars. “These are your charges. You have some decisions to make.” He said. 

Varian peeked over his shoulder again, and carefully eyed the man and his outstretched arm. Varian swallowed, and stood up on shaky legs. He quickly took the parchment without making eye contact, and raced back to his position facing the wall. Varian waited to hear the Captain walking away, but moments passed with no such sound. The man finally said something. 

“Your dinner tonight is vegetable soup. Leftover from the staff’s lunch. Everyone said it was great- but I was busy and didn’t have a chance to get some. You’ll have to tell me how it is.” The Captain said, with the goal of coaxing the boy to eat more than a bite of something,  _ anything _ .

Varian rolled his eyes, annoyed by the Captain’s indirect suggestion. “ _ Why _ are you still  _ here _ ?” Varian posed, coldly. 

The Captain exhaled and took a step closer to the bars of the cell. He was not used to being disrespected. “Watch how you speak,  _ prisoner _ .” the guard said, spitting the last word in mockery, his brow furrowed. He turned on his heel and limped away, feet falling heavier than before in his irritated state. 

Varian relaxed finally, letting some of the tension leave his shoulders and neck. Emotionally and physically exhausted, he slumped to a lying position on his side. Varian passed the rolled up scroll from hand to hand, willing himself to just read it. The mental block though, was too strong. 

Eventually, Varian unwillingly nodded off and dropped the scroll. The light brushing sound when it hit the floor made Varian jump back to wakefulness. He noticed the scroll on the stone floor and stared at it intently. After a few moments, Varian groaned and rolled over to face the wall. He adjusted his flat excuse for a pillow, and folded his arms under it to attempt to add some bulk. Variann shut his eyes. He noticed after a moment that he was subconsciously shaking his foot. He stopped, and took a deep breath, trying to relax. He started shaking his foot again. 

“ARRRGHH!!” Varian loudly groaned, launching himself up to his feet. He couldn’t be still. He couldn’t clear his head enough to fall asleep or even relax. Varian punched the stone wall with all of his blind rage. Upon contact with the cold, hard stone- the only sound of impact was a soft thud. Followed very quickly by a high pitched whimper. Varian felt the pain surge from the side of his hand, all the way up his arm. He immediately hugged his hand close into his chest. 

In pain that made his head spin. Varian paced a couple of quick little steps, clutching his hand, and breathing quick short breaths. He stopped and doubled over, an expression of a silent scream upon his face. Varian rose up and moved to the corner opposite the one housing his bed. He dropped to his knees and placed his forehead in the corner. He clutched tightly to his hand and tried to breath through the pain until it subsided. When the initial excruciating pain began to dull into a slightly more bearable aching, Varian took note of the sound of footsteps, much lighter than he’d heard from any guard, heading toward him down the corridor. Varian stood up and turned around. He rolled his eyes at who he saw. 

Cassandra soon appeared before the bars of the cell, her arms crossed defensively. 

Varian refused to meet her eyes, choosing to turn toward the back of his cell once again. “What are you doing here?” Varian said, grimacing. 

Cassandra furrowed her brow. “What the hell happened?” she interrogated. The kid was clutching his hand at his chest and she noted the tear tracks on his pale cheeks in the short moment he exposed his face to her. 

He whipped his head around. “What?” he said, as if he had no idea what she was talking about. He turned back around. Cassandra stepped to one side, than the other, craning her neck to try and get a better view of him. She found a spot that offered her a mediocre view of his profile. It would do. “Don’t play stupid. You’re clutching your hand and you’ve been crying. What the hell happened?” She demanded. 

Varian, without moving his injured hand from it’s place on his chest, hastily wiped away the tears that he didn’t know had escaped. “I- I’m fine! I asked you a question first.” He said, his voice quivering as he brushed off her concerns. 

Cassandra sighed, deciding to drop it for now. “I’m here on behalf of a certain princess.” she stated. 

Varian scoffed. 

Cassandra balled her hands into fists. She swore to Rapunzel that she would be kind, so she held her tongue. “She’s been trying to get down here for days, but her father gave the guards strict orders not to let her, and he won’t budge on them, she’s tried. She is worried sick about you, so I told her I would come see you on her behalf.” Cassandra explained. 

Varian’s heart thudded in his chest. Rage, anxiety, confusion- he didn’t know if he could take much more. “So now she cares all of the sudden, huh?” he said, accusingly. Cassandra stepped closer, holding onto one of the bars. 

She spoke softly to him. “Varian, I know it’s hard but you have to try and see this from her side of things. She is brand new at this. And I don’t just mean her royal duties, I mean all of it! Friendships, socializing, making decisions, prioritizing. I could go on. She has been isolated her entire life, with a person who told her lies about the world and made all of her choices for her. She is going to mess up! And she is so sorry, so  _ incredibly  _ sorry for what this mistake cost you. If she could go back and change it, she would- we all would. But that isn’t possible. The best thing any of us can do is try to help you now. The rocks- they’re somehow connected to Rapunzel.”

Varian turned around now. Hearing about Rapunzel’s guilt made him ache with guilt, despite trying to keep his wall of blame standing strong, it crumbled with each passing minute. At mention of the rocks, he forgot about all that for a moment. 

Cassandra froze when he turned to face her. He looked terrible; exhausted, miserable... just _really_ terrible. But for the first time in too long, he looked at her eager to know more. Kind of like the Varian she used to know. Cassandra quickly cleared her throat and continued. 

"They- the rocks- they’re leading her somewhere, we think. We’re going to follow them. Rapunzel thinks that whatever they’re leading her to will be able to get rid of the rocks- destroy them. And, probably, the amber.” Cassandra said, making sure to utter the last words gently. 

Varian’s face contorted. “How do you know about that?” he demanded, choking on his words. 

“Varian… I saw. And, Raps told me what happened… I am so sor-” Cassandra began, but Varian cut her off. 

“ _ She _ doesn’t know what happened! It was my fault!” Varian shouted. Cassandra let go of the bar she was holding and took a small step back, as if searching for a new perspective. “I’m not sure what you mean, Varian…” 

Varian whimpered, and turned to face the wall again. “It should have been me. He pushed me out of the way. It’s my fault. He might be- he’s probably dead because of me.” Varian said, unable to stop the tears now. 

Cassandra was silent, taking in what Varian had just admitted. “Hey, Varian- he’s your dad. You know he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. He made the choice to save you- you didn’t mean for anything to happen to him. It isn’t your fault.” She attempted. Cassandra saw through him in that moment. He was projecting his anger with  _ himself _ , onto Rapunzel and her parents. 

Varian shook his head. “I- no. No, well- I- I don’t know.” He fumbled, finaling giving up and leaning against the wall, his eyes closed and his right hand still carefully clutched to him. He opened his eyes, but remained leaning against the wall. “If you’re leaving to follow the rocks, why are you still here?” Varian asked. Cass crossed her arms again. "Rapunzel won’t leave until she knows what’s happening with  _ you _ . She’s working on convincing her dad to move up the hearing date.” Cassandra explained. 

Varian’s eyes darted to roll of parchment on the floor. Cassandra followed his gaze and noticed it as well.    
“Oh. Are those your charges? My…uh... the Captain said he’d be giving those to you.” she paused. “You haven’t opened it?” she half asked, half stated. Varian shook his head. 

Cassandra shifted her weight around for a moment. “Do you… want  _ me _ to read it?” she suggested. 

Varian looked at her, then at the parchment, and again, before settling his gaze on her and nodding solemnly. She nodded in return, and settled herself to sit down cross-legged on the floor outside the cell. Varian passed her the parchment through the bars, and also took a seat, leaning against the back wall, still cradling his hand. 

Cassandra unrolled the list of charges, and her eyes did a scan of the page. She cleared her throat and began reading aloud from the top. 

“Varian Quiranson, of Old Corona is hereby charge with:

Treason, on multiple accounts, including:

  * Stealing from the royal vaults and conspiracy thereof
  * Kidnapping her royal highness Queen Arianna 
  * Attempted murder of her royal highness Queen Arianna to the first degree
  * Reckless endangerment of her royal highness Princess Rapunzel on two accounts
  * Attempted murder of her royal highness Princess Rapunzel to the second degree 



Varian Quiranson, of Old Corona is additionally charged with the following, non-treasones, crimes:

  * Assault of the royal guard and volunteers, and conspiracy thereof
  * Destruction of public property
  * Constructive manslaughter of Quiran of Old Corona"



Cassandra read the lengthy list with balance and poise, even though her own worry grew with each addition to the list. She came down here thinking of it as a chore, or a favour- at the very most, and not at all expecting Varian to give her the time of day. The result did not quite meet her expectations. Yeah, he still behaved like a little brat, but Cass saw right through it. The kid was a mess in every possible way. 

When she concluded she looked up at Varian, who was chewing his lower lip, and moving his gaze between different spots on the floor and walls. She knew without question he was again trying to fight back tears. 

He met her eyes at last. With a small nod, he said “Th-that’s a lot.” 

Cassandra nodded a little bit in response, her eyes empathetic. 

Varian’s face contorted, and a choked sob escaped. He turned his head away from her in shame, and he rose onto his feet to turn his back to her. His shoulders rose and fell quickly with each audible breath.

Cassandra shifted to sit on her heels, placing her closer to the bars. 

“What do I do?” Varian uttered, his voice high pitched and quivering as he spoke through the cries and the panic that was fighting with him for control. 

Cassandra considered his words, and came up empty of a response. 

“Maybe… maybe I’ll tell Raps to stop trying to move the hearing closer…”

Varian looked at her, unsure of what to do, say or think. His head was spinning. So much of that was out of context. But, his dad? No! He hadn’t meant to hurt his dad! He didn’t  _ really _ want to hurt  _ anyone _ ! They were empty threats… until they weren’t… He knew he messed up, and every line he crossed he knew he was crossing but at the time it was like his heart took the place of his head. He wasn’t rational. Why did he think that it would work? That things would be fine after he’d done what he was doing? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Cassandra’s voice drew Varian out of his own spiraling thoughts and back into reality.

“That way we have time to go through all of this really carefully.” She said looking around herself in thought, and speaking to herself just as much to him. Varian was confused because he’d forgotten what she was saying before he zoned out. 

Cassandra met Varian’s eyes now. “But first thing’s first kid- we’ve got to get your hand checked out.” 

Varian exhaled, calming his breathing, and looked down at his now very swollen and quickly purpling appendage. 

Cassandra stood up and placed her hands on her hips. “And you have got to eat. Yeah that’s right. I’ve heard all about your little hunger strike.” she called him out. 

Varian perked his head up and furrowed his brow. “Wait, is that what they’re saying? That’s not!-” Varian began to defend himself but Cassandra cut him off. 

“Then tell me what it  _ is _ about. Because you can’t try to tell me the food isn’t any good. Usually it’s the same as what I’m eating and I am no stranger to seconds.” Cassandra pried. 

Varian shrugged. “I- I don’t know. Eating makes my stomach hurt. A-and, it just feels like it should be the last thing I have to worry about. Like- like I don’t have time to waste on it. Even though I guess I have plenty of time…” Varian scoffed miserably. 

He considered further, shuffling his feet. “And, I guess it sucks giving them- th-the guards- the satisfaction…” Varian admitted.

Cassandra, who had been listening politely to Varian’s reasoning- smirked. “Ha! So it  _ is _ a hunger strike!” She teased. 

Varian’s face was defensive for a moment and just before he was about to bite back, he noticed her teasing smirk. He released some of his tension and huffed the tiniest little laugh. It was a start. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment with your thoughts! I love to read them and chat with you all :)


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